Crazies all over the place

So searching for roommates over the internet when you live 1,179 Mi (I wikipediad that shit) is hard and frustrating because I can't meet them until crunch time, when I go down there at the end of the month for my job interview. I am keeping my options open and searching several websites. Lynne and her roommate just moved to a bigger apartment so their lease is up at the end of this month. So I made an ad on craigslist looking for someone to share this apartment for extra security on having somewhere to live. I got some real gems like these:

Hello
I am brandy, i was born in colorado but presently in huntington-ashland , working for the World Health Organization (W.H.O) in kentuckey, i am 28 years old, weight: 125 lbs. (50 kg) ,height: 5' 11'' (1.68 m) ,hair: brown and bloned, eyes: brown , bust: 32'' (81 cm) ,waist: 27'' (61 cm) ,hips: 36'' (84 cm) ,dress: US: 3 / Eur: 36 ,shoe: US: 7.5 / Eur: 38.5. i am open minded person, honest, kind and loving. i am single, never been married and no kid.I am once a navy i quit last 3 year, and started working with the (W.H.O). now i want to quit this job too cos it is unbearable, so i want to relocate my self to any state and start a modeling business. this is why i am looking for a room. I am writing just to confirm if you still have the room for rent......If YES Please I will like to have answers to the following questions below:
1) I will like to have the description of the room, size, and the equipments in there.
2) I will like to have the rent fee per month plus the utilities..
3) I will also like to know if I can make an advance payment
4)payment mode:
Pls i would like to have an answers to all my enquiries.
If you are willing to give me the room, here is my e-mail... you can get me over there.
warmest regards
Brandy.

She gave me her measurements... down to her shoes size and bonus! conversions to metric! I say thanks but no thanks Brandy. I do not see myself enjoy living with you.

Then there was this one. I got the same email, down to the spelling and grammer errors, one in my regular mail and one in my spam mail. Clincher: it's 2 different names behind it! One's Mary and one's Jennifer. Here's the email:

Hello ,

I read your ad on craigslist.com,and this is why i am getting back to you, i am interested in knowing the availability of the place and i will also want to know more about the neighboourhood ,the place and the utilities included...?

My name is Jennifer Brown, Am Nurse with humanitarian assistance,I will be 28 by the 25th of next month,i love to live with clean people,caring,responsible,neat type. I'm 5"7' straight,i am presently in south Dakota(U.s) now ,I will love to move in as soon as possible, but it all depends on the availability of the room,I speaks French and English, so you have the chance to learn french ,i am an interesting person to live with,I'll let You know more about me if i am to rent the particular room that you have to offer ....

I will be anxiously waiting for your email and i want you to know that i really need the room now and i am the serious type paying rent as long as i am okay with the place and people that i'll be living with.

Kind Regards...

Jennifer.. (and also swap out Mary without the ..)

I don't think I'll respond to Brandy but here's what I said to Mary/Jennifer:

Thank you for your interest. However, I am skeptical of this response. I received an email with this exact same wording from a Jennifer Brown. Is your name Mary or Jennifer??

Thanks but no thanks. Good luck in your search.

I also had someone tell me they were interested but are allergic to cats when the ad said that I have a cat. Uhhh..... no?!

If I get more amazing gems I'll definitely share them.

People are crazy.

Update: I got ANOTHER duplicate email. This person is "from Canada and I will be having some seminars coming up soon in US. Right now am working for a Non Government Organization on a program on children with orphans and heart related probs."
Yeah right.... I wrote them back the same email that I sent to the other two, replacing the names with Ciana and Rose. WTF people?! (no cracks about Canada jerks.)

On moving...

I am: excited, scared, nervous, freaking out, overjoyed, anxious, happy, relieved, jilted, sad, afraid, amused, appreciated, and overwhelmed. I just had to get that out there.

Any tips on moving across country?

I'm out like Clay Aiken

So the end of 2008 is drawing to a close. It's been a personally eventful year, I must say.

1. Broke up a long-term relationship and kicked him out of the apartment, got back together a few times (I'm an idiot and have since learned the err of my ways for being so forgiving) and now I never want to see him again. I guess I hope he's still alive and doing well but I'd rather not hear about it.

2. My family moved to Florida and left me behind.

3. I got a new car. Cool.

4. I moved into a house with a co-worker and another roommate.

5. I turned 25.

Okay, only maybe the first 2 are really significant, the others I just added to add more numbers because 2 doesn't add up to eventful, where as 5 does. I live in Michigan waiting tables, alone. Let me clarify alone. No family. I am very close with my family and it's hard living sooooo far away from them. I used to stop over at their house at least once a week, if not more. I miss them! Anyways.

So I was talking to my friend Lynne the other day who lives in Tampa, FL, about 3 hours or so south of my family in Jacksonville. Both parties have been trying to get my to leave MI since the beginning of time, or the beginning of them living there, which in my book is the beginning of time because I hear about it every time I talk to them. (I love you guys <3) So I was whining about not finding a job in shit-hole MI to Lynne the other day. First of all I have a bachelors in Psychology, which is pretty much useless. To make the most of that degree I need to enroll in grad school. 2-4 years of grad school + $10,000 more in debt = kill me now. SO Lynne was like "there are a few jobs opening up at my work, what do you think?" And honestly, someone can tell you the same thing over and over again but it won't really sink in until YOU think or believe it. So I started believing that I should move to Florida. I never wanted to move before because I didn't want to move to Jax with my parents, not have a job, and not have any friends. And I didn't want to move to Tampa to copy Lynne (plus when she left I still lived with the bastard I called the love of my life. Naive I was). So now seems like the perfect time. I'm having a hard time finding a job and I'm not tied down to anyone or any lease so what the fuck- I'm moving! And honestly, a lot of times it's who you know (or who you blow, but I'm not in for that ride), so I know Lynne and she might be able to get me a job! I'll go for an "interview" or meeting persay while I'm in the F-L over Christmas break visiting my parents. I'll maybe meet a potential roommate or so.

That's another thing. I don't want to life with a perfect stranger (or even imperfect for that matter) but I gotsta. I'd prefer to live alone but that decision would not be in my favor. Living alone increases independence which decreases popularity because it decreases my networking skills, hence no friends. So I've joined roommates.com and am currently in the hunt for a roommate via that and craigslist. I'll meet with said potential roommates after conversing via email and setting up a time to meet when I'm in Tampa.

The move date isn't set yet but I'll determine it after I meet with the bossman. I'll miss a lot of people in Michigan and some of the local sights but I really have nothing to lose. If I really hate it, well, I'm sure anything is better than here waiting tables in the snow until I'm 40! And even if I hate the job it's at least real-world experience I can put on my resume. But like I said, anything is better than here. But don't challenge me. I'm sure there are worse places. Like your house.